Page 34

This assignment is in response to Brevity, Writing101.

Page 34

You are walking along the street past a swing park. A piece of paper skids along the path, whips up and gets trapped against the fence in front of you. The paper has been torn from a school jotter. You read the note. You smile. You look around you for passers by. You look at the note again and slowly nod your head. You look up at the horizon and then look at the note again. Your chest flutters.

7 Things I want to do when I’m older:

1. Get a red bike like Charlie’s.

2. Built a hut that I can live in with my friends.

3. Jump off Chicken Rock and do other cool stuff.

4. Get taller and be Quite important.

5. Find a girlfriend.

6. Kiss her.

7. Rule the world.

To wonder what happened to you and how you ended up here, go to page 1.

To find the nearest local school and try to return the note, in case the kid forgets his list of things to do (because sometimes you just forget), go to page 35.


About j.a.prufrock

Ex-journalist, lapsed writer, sometimes teacher, Francophile (not James Franco), candlestick-maker. After a lengthy sabbatical from all forms of writing, I've retaken to it in the form of blogging, at first. I keep two blogs, with my journalism (Assorted Bylines: separate from my creative writing (WritersWriteWords:
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8 Responses to Page 34

  1. shariepatty says:

    So sweet to start my day with memories of innocence. Thank you


  2. Laura Feasey says:

    Fabulous piece, I really enjoyed this. You captured the essence of childhood really well, and I also really liked your use of second person narrative, I don’t see it much but it takes some skill!


    • elasticexile says:

      Thanks Laura, yes 2nd person was new for me, and felt weird to use! It was inspired by the ‘choose your own adventure’ series of kids books.


      • Laura Feasey says:

        I must try using it myself soon, it’s always good to try something out of one’s comfort zone isn’t it?! I’ve never seen those books but what a great idea for children, it sounds like a really good way of getting them involved in a story.

        Liked by 1 person

      • elasticexile says:

        Absolutely, though I would maybe find it hard to keep up that narrative for a longer piece, maybe the novelty would wear off for the reader. As for the kids books, sure it wasn’t the greatest writing, but quite a unique and engaging format. The story would go down different routes, and you would have to choose just one, but in the end you would always backtrack and read the alternative endings!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Laura Feasey says:

        Hmm yes it’s rather limiting isn’t it? I even find that when writing longer stories in first person sometimes… I don’t know how some writers manage it for a whole novel (I marvel at Chuck Palahniuk!) Ah they sound amazing, I love nostalgic memories when it comes to books, it’s so important to read when you’re growing up.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Killing For Sport (Shia LaBeouf) | Writers Write Words

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